Left Hand Man
by Ulquiorra-isn't-emo
Summary: Iggy's been waiting for his perfect chance for fourteen years. It finally comes, but not at all in the way he expected. Will Max give Iggy a chance at a relationship? Miggy, minimal Fax.  SUSPENDED
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: First fanfic! Yay. So, this is post Fang, with Fang, no Dylan, slight AU, Miggy. I think that's it. If anything else is different, I'll add it in future chapters.**

**Love y'all,**

**~Ulquiorra-isnt-emo**

Left Hand Man Chap 1

Bullets whistle past my ear, smashing into the doorframe in front of me. My breathing is heavy, my arms pumping as I sprint around a corner into the stairwell. I can hear my friends pounding behind me as we race up the steps. Our loose neon orange prison uniforms fly out while we run, the nametag reading _006_ almost ripping off my jumpsuit. We're going to escape this prison. We've gotta make it out of here. We have to. I chant my mantra internally, blocking out the rising anxiety.

We burst into a tiny platform at the top of the staircase. Adrenaline pumps through my veins, leaving no space for any other emotions. I look around frantically, looking for an escape. My eyes catch a door hidden in the back o the room. We tear through and up another stairwell. I stand at the end, waiting for everyone to file through. Exploding through one more door, we fall out onto the roof of the building.

I do a quick headcount. One, two, three, four, plus me... Only five? Where's Fang? Wasn't he right behind me? I start panicking. The rest of my group has realised he's missing too. Our gazes snap back to the doorway we came from.

"BACK OFF!" we hear him roar. There's a crash and he shoots from the staircase. A small grin flashes across my face. I feel bad for whatever idiot got in his way. We take off after him, putting as much distance between us and the entrance. I can hear the armed guards tromping up the stairs, their guns click-clacking as they cock their weapons, boots rumbling the concrete stairs.

I glance helplessly around. We've backed up to the very edge of the roof. At least all six of us, including myself, are accounted for. At least we're all alive. For now. I look to each of my friends to find them defiantly staring back. That's it. We're not going down without a fight. This isn't how we're going to end.

The tiny door bursts open again and at least ten soldiers run out onto the roof. More pour from the small entrance. They kneel and aim their guns at us, gluing their eyes to the scopes. Dozens of little red laser dots appear on our bodies. There's no escape. In front of us, imminent death. Behind us, probable death. I wish it were all a bad dream, so I wouldn't have to believe it's real. But it isn't, so I do.

I rake my best evil eye over the assembling grunts, ignoring the shouts of, "Hands up, Subject oh-oh-six!"

"LISTEN UP! We are _not_ your test subjects. We are _not_ labeled by you. We have names. Mine is Maximum Ride. REMEMBER IT!" They all look taken aback by my speech. It's pretty funny how stupid they look.

I sigh and look behind me at the street hundreds of feet below. I raise my arms up in a horizontal line at my shoulders in signal to my group. The dots jump to my arms and hands, ready to stop me if I try something. I ignore them, and make sure my group copies the movement. They imitate me, and we all fall backwards into the empty void behind us.

If you had the choice, you would've done what we did.

Shots are fired, but they miss, smashing into the building across the street, making dust explode from the wall or shattering windows. I smile victoriously, twisting my body so I can see the pavement rushing up to my face. I snap out my wings, catching the thick, polluted air in their feathers. I hear my friends doing the same.

Looking up, I see a bunch of guards, tiny due to the distance, shouting angrily and waving their guns. We're too far away by now to be shot at. I grin, and savour the amazing feeling of flying. We fly into the distance, serene smiles stretching our cheeks.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I have no life. I'm gonna end up finishing this story in a week. Too soon T_T But hey, aren't all writers hermits? This chapter has Faxness. *cringe* I promise, Miggy lovers, the Iggy scenes are coming! A little OOC for Fang in this chap. R&R! (Flames too!)**

**Disclaimer: I am not James Patterson *cries* so I cannot claim ownership to MR. **

**Love y'all,**

**~Ulquiorra-isnt-emo**

Left Hand Man Chap 2

The euphoria of our freedom is wearing off as our wings get heavier. We've been flying for hours in V formation, like I taught them, switching leads like geese. The thin air, which didn't bother me before, is starting to make me light-headed. My wings pump up and down, but they're getting sluggish. We stopped at a mall to get some supplies and new clothes, but we've been flying for hours since then.

I signal to Iggy, and we switch places, putting me at the lead. That's the one good thing those nutcases at the prison did. They fixed Iggy's eyes. I would say I'm eternally grateful to them for it, but they're such A-holes, I refuse to thank them. However, that blissful look that's been stuck on Iggy's face ever since has brought me joy to no end.

"Hey guys, we gotta land somewhere soon. Angel looks like she's gonna pass out."

Relieved murmurs of agreement pass through the flock, and Angel sends me a string of profanities telepathically.

I snort and reply. _I don't know where you heard those words, but if you ever say them again, I swear I won't let you go on any shopping sprees with Nudge for a MONTH._

Angel conveys to me a mental gasp and immediately apologizes. I can't help but grin at her hasty reaction. I know any and every threat I can make to discipline my flock. Angel and Nudge couldn't survive with shopping and magazines. Gazzy loves his bombs, and Iggy his music. And Fang… Hmm. Oh I know! His laptop. I could ban him from his laptop. Not that he'd listen to me anyway, but it's good to remember for future reference. If I ever need something from Fang, I'll just hold his computer hostage.

Down below us is what looks like a trailer park. There's a bunch of eighteen wheelers hunkered down, scattered across the dirt lot. It might be a campground or something. I veer to my left, and tilt my body down at 45 degrees. The rest of my flock follows suit, and we collapse onto the grass underneath some trees. We lay there for a few minutes, catching our breath and gazing at the darkening sky.

I'm just pondering food possibilities when Fang rolls towards me, dropping an arm around my waist. We didn't get to spend a lot of time together when we were in that dingy prison. We had been in separate cells. _At least they weren't cages,_ I think, uncharacteristically optimistic.

Fang jumps up and offers me his hand. I look up questioningly. He just shakes his head, signaling he'll tell me later. I take the hand and pull myself up. The flock drowsily watches us, not quite enough energy left to ask where we're going. I give the answer to their unasked inquiries.

"Fang and I are gonna go find some fast food joint we can eat at tomorrow. Iggy, you're in charge until we get back. Everyone cool?" I survey my adopted family as they answer with varying levels of lethargically slurred words.

Iggy's new eyes flash with some emotion I'm in too much of a rush to interpret. Fang leads as we run and jump, flapping furiously to get aloft. At a comfortable height, we fly away from the flock and towards a clump of big firs. We land on one of the higher branches, and Fang wastes no time in tangling his hand in my hair. He pulls our faces closer and his breath tickles my nose when he speaks.

"Maximum Ride, do you know what I spent most of my time thinking about during those that month we spent in that stupid prison?"

I smirk, trying not to let my excitement show through. "Ooh, full name, is it? This must be serious." I'm getting better at this whole stay-cool thing.

Fang growls affectionately. "I'm dead serious. Do you want to know what I was thinking about?"

I smile wider. "Well, not if it was anything dirty. Then I certainly don't want to know."

"Stop it, Max. Besides, you know what the answer is." The distance between our lips closes as he murmurs, "You."

The rough bark of the tree presses against my back, pushed by Fang's body. His other hand rests on my thigh, and my arms around his neck. I feel completely intoxicated. I could kiss Fang all day, if it weren't for the flock. I'm so happy at moments like this, it's hard to remember that Fang ever left me.

The sun falls even lower in the sky, reminding us that we have to return to the rest of our family. We break apart, our thoughts synchronized as usual. We launch ourselves off the tree, and swoop back in the direction of the flock. The slowly receding light glints off of our wings, making us look like amazing, beautiful, dangerous birds of prey.


	3. Chapter 3

**I love the way Iggy turned out in this one! I hope you guys like it too. Though I'm afraid I gave him too many complex emotions, seeing as he's a guy… Oh well. He's a complex guy. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own MR. T_T **

**Love y'all**

**~Ulquiorra-isnt-emo**

Left Hand Man Chapter 3

Iggy's POV

I lay back, watching – yes, watching – a butterfly swish along, battered by the breeze, but persistent. It flaps its tiny little insect wings vigorously, trying to gain some headway on the wind. Finally, the breeze pauses, and the butterfly flutters off to some flowers. It alights and happily drains the lily of its nectar.

My eyes follow its progress moodily. Ever since Fang took Max and left, I've been in a crappy mood, and I've been snapping at the kids. I feel guilty about it, but I've got other things on my mind. I can't relax, even now. Angel nodded off about a half hour ago, Gazzy passing out soon after. Nudge fell asleep a couple minutes ago, probably out of boredom.

All I can think about is what Max and Fang might be doing. I mean, I've liked her since we were kids. Back when I could see, I used to think she was an angel that fell from the sky. She had wings, she was beautiful, she was kind. An angel. But ever since we were kids, it was always Fang. Fang, always at her side, comforting her, being her advisor, her confidant. Watching her drift away from the flock as she fell deeper in love with Fang, it killed me. It still does.

Normally, I'm not the envious type. Fang and I are brothers, we're cool. I get that Max and him are together. I don't have any violent wishes against him. Usually. But I am hella jealous of him. What bugs me most is that I don't even know if Max knows I like her. I've made moves on her before. Subtle advances, yes, but I did make moves. She's never asked me about it, or even acknowledged it.

I remember one time I flirted with her. I laugh aloud quietly. God, that had been embarrassing. I had just gotten out of the shower, so all I had on was a towel around my waist. I heard someone walking up the stairs. By the little intake of breath, I guessed it was Max. Knowing her, she probably blushed at the sight of me, even though I was the half-naked one. I knew my face was most likely strawberry red.

"Uh, Iggy," she laughed. She has such a cute laugh. "You gonna put some pants on so you can go make us dinner?"

I grinned real big, despite the situation. "Sure I will. But just for you, Maxi, I won't bother with a shirt."

"I'm rolling my eyes, Ig," she said in a voice that definitely had the I'm-rolling-my-eyes quality to it. "You're a sexist pig."

My smile spread even wider. "Yeah, I'm your sexy sexist pig."

Max stammered something unintelligible. I could practically see her face. Her mouth is probably wide open, in the _Oh my god what did he just say_ expression. She recovered herself, and I heard the swish of clothing as she swings her arm up. I assumed she's giving me the finger.

"I'm flipping you off, Iggy."

I heard Max stomp back downstairs, muttering curses under her breath. A chuckle rumbled quietly through my chest, a terrific understatement for the giddiness I felt. I just shook my head as I headed back into my room and pulled on some sweats. Just as I promised, I showed up in the kitchen shirtless. Max protested, and I just flashed a grin in the direction of her stutters.

I laugh at myself again. I can't believe I did that. Boy, the glares Fang must've been shooting at me. If looks could kill… My smile slides off my face as Fang returns to my thoughts. If he hadn't taken Max from me, I would be the one sneaking off with her. I would be the one who would hold her, who would tell her it's gonna be okay. Irrational anger starts rising in my stomach. I know it's stupid and pointless to be mad at Fang, but I have to do something before I spontaneously combust. I have the sense to run off into the trees before hitting anything.

I stop at a clearing, my chest heaving. I slam my fist against a tree, making several birds screech a fly off. I punch it again, faster and faster, creating a sort of rhythm with the thumps of my knuckles on bark. I can feel little cuts forming on the back of my hands. _Doesn't matter. Vent anger. Hit it hard._ My blows gain more force, and the tree creaks, threatening to topple.

My arms go numb, and I can't move any more. I lean on the tree, my breathing puffing out in an uneven staccato. I slip to the ground, elbows on knees, face buried in hands. My fingers push into my hair, rubbing my eyes. I'm not gonna cry. I'm not gonna cry. I'm not gonna cry.

Footsteps shake the ground as they rush towards me. I don't bother to look up. I can tell by the patterns that it's Max and Fang. They jog into my clearing, skidding to a stop when they see me. I think I look like hell. My shoulders are hunched in defeat, my head bowed. I'm probably worrying Max. I aggressively shove the thought away. _Don't flatter yourself_, I scold myself.

Max hesitantly treads over to me, kneeling at my side. "Iggy, what's wrong?" Anxiety twists her lovely voice.

Her arm wraps comfortingly around my shoulders, consoling me before she knows why. I'm tempted to just let her, but I hear Fang step up behind her. I abruptly sit up, causing Max's hand to fall off. I can see her face now, still flushed from whatever she and Fang were doing. This doesn't help my predicament. I look up to Fang, his eyes as impassive as the first time I saw them.

Max notices my bloody knuckles, and the bark cracked away from the tree. "Iggy! Why the hell were you hitting the tree? Look what you did to your hands!"

She grabs one of my hands a holds it up, displaying my wounds.

"It's nothing," I mutter, pulling my hand away. I stand and start to exit. The leaves rustle as Max comes after me. Her hand lands on my shoulder, stopping me.

"Iggy, I know something's upsetting you." Her tone has reverted to leader Max, the Max that orders around Fang and makes Erasers cry.

I shrug off her touch. "Point being?" I snarl, keeping my back to her. I hear her take a step back. I've been mad before, at her, at Erasers, at the world. But this time, I realize, I sound dangerous.

I stalk off, hiding the raging emotions that are going to make me explode at any second. Max and Fang don't follow me. Once I get out of earshot, a take a running leap and shoot off into the star dotted sky.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: This one's so-so. I don't love it, but it's not horrendous (in my opinion). Both Max and Iggy are a little OOC, but whatever. Deal with it. R&R! (Flamers too!)**

**Disclaimer: This little monster inside grows each time I think about it, but MR doesn't belong to me. One day, James Patterson, I will come to your house, and I will take Maximum Ride from you. MARK MY WORDS. **

**Love y'all,**

**~Ulquiorra-isnt-emo**

Left Hand Man Chapter 4

Max's PoV

I watch Iggy storm off, speechless. His last two words had radiated with rage and anger I'd never seen in Iggy. Now, I'm not even sure it was Iggy. What happened to the cheerful, bomb-loving chef? Something's got Iggy really pissed off. And now, I'm pissed off at his attitude and at whatever put Iggy, one of my flock, in such bad mood that he went and punched a tree until his knuckles bled.

I take off after Iggy, yelling back at Fang to watch the flock. As I launch myself from the canopy of the forest, I catch sight of Iggy's light-colored wings flash before he disappears into a cloud. I trail after him, close enough so he can tell I'm following, but leaving enough distance between us to let him know I'll respect his space.

Iggy leads me to the evergreens Fang and I had sat in earlier. I tuck in my wings and dive bomb after him, braking right over the tips for the trees. We swoop down, landing on the ground in the shadow of the huge pines. Iggy keeps his back to me the entire time, so I can't see what he's feeling.

Being the sensitive, overly kind person that I am, I stride up to Iggy and punch his shoulder lightly. "What the hell is wrong with you, Iggy? You know I'm not gonna leave you alone until you tell me."

Iggy spins, his hands clenched in fists at his sides. He looks at my stubborn face, and sighs tiredly. "Max, please, just go away."

"You know I can't do that. If you're upset, you're not focusing. And when you're not focusing, you could get hurt, or cause someone in the flock to get hurt. Get over it, or tell me so I can help you get over it." I punctuate with a firm poke to his chest. Iggy doesn't even flinch. I miss the days when I could push him and Fang around easily.

Iggy examines something behind my left shoulder. I know it's just because he's avoiding my gaze. He doesn't have the excuse of being blind anymore. His eyes drop to the ground, then finally meet my stare.

"You can't help me Max. If I explained, you_ wouldn't_ help me. I'm sorry Max. I really am. But I'm not gonna tell you."

That stings. Iggy and I aren't super-super close the way Fang and I are, but we'd still tell each other almost anything. We're the oldest in the flock. If Fang is my right hand man, then Iggy is my left. Iggy's the one I got to if for some reason I can't talk to Fang. Now Iggy's saying there's something he can't tell? Something I won't help him with? That's just bull.

"That's stupid. There's nothing you can't tell me. We've known each other since we were little kids. C'mon Iggy." I step closer, once again laying my hand on his shoulder. Iggy gives me a weird look I can't decipher.

His eyes close and he tilts his head back, up towards the sky. I can see the thin blue veins snaking up his neck through his pale skin. The moonlight gives him a pearly glow, making him look almost ghostly. His hair falls in spikes over his face and his ears. He's almost… beautiful.

Oh my God, am I checking out Iggy? _And_ composing bad poetry about him?

Iggy interrupts my scrambled thoughts. "It's about you Max. If you can guess, maybe I'll give you the details." He opens one eye to look down at me and gives me one of his signature smirks.

Now my imagination is going crazy. Okay, slow down, Maximum. Use that 2% bird brain for logic. So, it's about me. It got Iggy really mad. I think back to all the time I've spent with Iggy recently, trying to look for clues in my memories. I realize suddenly I haven't been around Iggy a lot. I've been with Fang. Is Iggy… jealous? That look he gave me right before Fang took me to the firs, was it sadness?

_Flashback_

_I walk upstairs, ready to yell at Iggy to get his ass moving so we can have dinner. I smell him before I get to the top of the stairs. It smells like that pine-scented shampoo he loves, and the smoky odor that always envelops him. When I reach the highest step, I can see that Iggy's standing in the middle of the hall with only a towel wrapped around his waist. A fierce blush makes my cheeks hot as I give a little gasp. Iggy's face is flushed as well. He must have heard me coming up the stairs._

_"Uh, Iggy." I giggle awkwardly. I never giggle. It sounds weird, coming from me. "You gonna put some pants on so you can go make us dinner?"_

_I can't help but notice the muscles in his lean chest. He's grown some since the last time I saw him shirtless, which was about 4 years ago during a water fight Jeb had started with us._

_An evil smile stretches across Iggy's pale features._ _"Sure I will. But just for you, Maxi, I won't bother with a shirt."_

_I'm about to get mad at him for calling me Maxi when I realize what he actually said. I roll my eyes, a pointless gesture. "I'm rolling my eyes, Ig," I say, using my best _you're-an-idiot _voice. "You're a sexist pig." That's something you never hear me say to him._

_If possible, Iggy's grin gets wider. "Yeah, I'm your sexy sexist pig."_

_My mouth falls open. He… my… sexy… what? I let out an involuntary stutter. Iggy's still beaming mischievously at me. The most I can manage without making a fool of myself if to flip him the bird. Which he can't see._

"_I'm flipping you off, Iggy." I let some venom leak into my voice. He laughs at my weak response as he turns and saunters into his room._

_When he shows up in the kitchen, he still hasn't put a shirt on. I tell him to go put some clothes on, instead of walking around like a nudist. He ignores me, just throwing a cocky grin at my forehead._

_End Flashback_

My hand slips off Iggy's shoulder. I gaze numbly up at his now-grim smile. Iggy… likes me? What? That's like saying Nudge is quiet and introverted, and that Fang's favorite color is hot pink. There's never been anything romantic between Iggy and me. At least the way I see it. And I'm with Fang! And Iggy knows that! So, Iggy likes me, even though I'm with Fang? I'm brand new with one relationship, let alone having to deal with complications!

Welcome to The Life of Maximum Ride, a soap opera in bird kid style!

"Iggy, you… you have a crush on me?" I can't believe the words are coming from my mouth. That's something I'd never expect, not in a millions years. Or whatever length of time I have left to live.

Iggy cups my chin and tilts my head up. I'm too shocked to fight. His light blue eyes bore into mine, daring me to look away. This time it's his breath, not Fang's, that brushes my face.

"No, I don't have a crush on you." Relief is my first emotion, but underneath there's a twinge of disappointment. Why? I love Fang. Is it possible to love two people at once? No, no, stop there. I don't love Iggy. Do I?

"No, Max, it's not a crush," Iggy continues, oblivious to my internal struggle. "Maximum Ride, I love you."

His voice is so intense, so pure, it blows me away completely. Any part of me that wasn't totally stunned before has been knocked to her feet, staring up at Iggy with wondering eyes.

"I promise Max, that no matter what, I will always be here for you. I will _never_ hurt you. If anything ever happens between you and Fang," he smiles sweetly, leaning closer. "Remember I'm always available."

I'm frozen, deer-in-headlights. My mouth seems to be the only part of me that's functional. I whisper Iggy's name in amazement. I have just enough time to feel his lips touch mine softly when his entire body crashes against mine.

**A/N: Cliiiiiiiiff Hanger! Hanging from a cliff! And that's why they call him Cliff Hanger! Yeah… Hope you likey!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Warning! Iggy's mind is not for little kids! (Meaning he swears a lot, perverts.) If the previous two (kinda) kissing scenes didn't warn you about that, then I don't know what will. I could put up a big flashing sign that says, "OI! IT'S RATED FREAKING T!" Yeah, that would work… Sigh. My chapters have been getting longer and longer. Not that it's a bad thing; it just annoys me because it's inconsistent. That's me, the perfectionist… **

**Anyhoo, thank you, all you fabulous people who REVIEWED! Your reviews have been very helpful, and every time I read them (being as pathetic as I am, it's several times a day) I get this warm fuzzy feeling. **

**LOVE Y'ALL!**

**~Ulquiorra-isnt-emo**

**Picture of Iggy (by me!) posted on DeviantArt. Here's the link: .com/art/Iggy-195765825**

Left Hand Man Chapter 5

Iggy's POV

Something shoves me forward, making me trip into Max and knocking us both over. My jaw slams into hers as we crash to the ground. A whoosh of breath pushes from Max's lungs at my weight. I must have accidentally bit her lip when I fell, because there's a little cut that's starting to ooze blood on her bottom lip. I push myself up on my hands and knees, wiping some of her blood off my mouth. Shit, great first impression or what?

"Smoooooth, Iggy," Max says sarcastically from beneath me, smirking _my_ irritating, sassy smirk.

"No no," I stutter hastily, a blush forming on my cheeks. "I got pushed!"

Max's eyes widen at something over my shoulder, and then narrow. I'll bet you every penny of my saved money - which is very close to zero - that there's an Eraser or something standing behind me. Sure enough, a clawed hand grabs a chunk of my hair, roughly yanking me off the ground. He lifts me off my feet, which is saying something, considering my height. Oh, my poor scalp.

"Hey lovebirds," the Eraser snarls, a wolfy sneer plastered on his already-morphed snout. His breath smells like the boy's locker room at the school in Virginia and Gazzy's err, talent.

"Hey, ugly," I say, grabbing the arm holding me and kicking the Eraser in the stomach. He lets go of me, clutching at his lungs, and I drop-kick him in the shin.

I glance over my shoulder to make sure Max is okay. She's raining blows on an Eraser helplessly defending his head. A knee in the stomach and he falls backward. Atta girl!

The Eraser I had knocked down gets back up and kicks me in the chest, taking advantage of my distraction. I stumble back to regain my balance, then do a flying kick at his face. His big snout cracks under my boot, and he screeches, waving his claws wildly. One of them catches my shoulder, shredding it and the sleeve of my shirt to ribbons. I gasp in pain, reflexively punching the Eraser again.

I do a quick survey. Are there only two Erasers? Just as the thought forms, three more uglies emerge from the trees. Speak of the freaking devil.

"Iggy, you dumbass!" Max yells, taking out her anger on the werewolf before her. "You distracted me, and now look! Erasers!"

Two of the hideous mutts advance on me. They spread apart and surround me, forcing me to whip my head back and forth to see the both of them. I tense, fisting my hands. One of them starts moving at me and I deliver an uppercut to his jaw, satisfied with the way his head snaps up. I grab my shoulder, trying to ease the raising pain.

"Distracted you so much you didn't notice a couple of slavering Erasers? Wow, thanks Max, I didn't think I was that good of a kisser. You liked it?" I tease, half hoping she'll take it seriously and overreact. Which of course, she does.

I can hear her stumbling indignantly over her words as I beat the living crap out of my other Eraser. She huffs angrily as she takes on another wolf man, just spitting out, "Doesn't matter, anyway. I'm with Fang." That underlying affection in her voice when she talks about Fang always gets to me. But I'm nothing if not persistent, immature, and annoying.

"So you did like it," I confirm, making sure she can hear the smirk in my tone. I duck down, dodging a punch. Retaliating fiercely, I play dirty and kick the Eraser where it hurts.

Max sighs agitatedly, and I hear her crack a wolf bone. "I never said that, Iggy!"

"Oh, but you're thinking it! I knew you were into me!" I cackle evilly, letting my insane energy pour into my attacks on the werewolf.

Suddenly, all the Erasers back away from us and take off into the woods on all fours. Max and I relax, rubbing off blood and massaging sore spots. We do a quick once-over of the clearing to make sure they're all gone.

"What the hell," I say, wandering a bit into the woods. "That was random."

Max nods, still warily casting glances at the huge firs, as if one of them is an Eraser in disguise. Abruptly, she stands straight up and swivels her head in the direction of the rest of our gang.

"The flock," Max says quietly with concern. "We should go make sure they're okay." She starts her running leap, but as I follow, my shoulder burns in pain and I stumble. The gashes aren't deep, but they hurt like hell. Max pauses too, and looks at me clenching my jaw and holding my shoulder. She walks back to me and gently pulls my hand off to examine the cuts.

"It's not bad. I have some bandages in my backpack. Let's get back to the others." She starts to turn away again, and I grab her arm.

I grin at her, so she knows what's coming next. "I'd appreciate it if you'd kiss the boo boo."

The comment earns me a swift kick in the knee. "Ow! Dammit, watch it! I'm already damaged goods."

Max lets out a low laugh and signals that we should get out of here already. Once we get airborne, moving my arm isn't so bad. The pain in my shoulder will flare up every once in a while and make me drop a few feet, but nothing unbearable. I can see Max watching me from the corner of her eye, cataloging every time I wince or flinch.

We make it back to the clump of smaller trees where the flock is resting. They're all still asleep, except for Fang. His emotionless eyes spark with concern when he sees Max's battered condition. He rushes up to her, spotting the cuts on her face and hands.

"What happened? I'm guessing you didn't fall out of a tree," Fang says, pointing to the slashes on my shoulder. "Erasers?"

I give him a sarcastic look and roll my sliced-up arm. Ow. Shouldn't have done that. "Yeah, it was Erasers. But it was weird. They just came, fought and left. Like, hit-and-run or something."

A weird look flashes through Fang's expression before he settles back into apathy. "That is odd."

Max yanks on my bad arm – ouch – and pulls me over to the backpack leaned against the trunk of a tree. She retrieves a roll of bandages and a bottle of water from a pocket of the bag. Unscrewing the bottle, she digs out a paper towel.

"I don't have disinfectant, so water'll have to do. Take your shirt off, Iggy," she says, pouring a little water over the paper towel.

I can't resist. In a nonchalant tone, I murmur, "Wow, forward, aren't you?" I look to see if she gets the joke.

Blood flows into her cheeks, tinting them pink. "You idiot. You know that's not what I meant."

I grin at her, starting to undo the buttons on my plaid shirt. The last one loose, I carefully peel the bloody clothing away from my right arm, exposing my pale skin to the cool air. Max gingerly tugs away the rest of my sleeve so she can clean my cuts. I can feel Fang's eyes, raising the hairs on the back of my neck the entire time. I don't think the boyfriend approves of my stripping.

The cloth dabs at my gashes. It feels nice, wiping away the stickiness. The blood had dried a little, and is crusting up. It's like a really big, half-form scab. Ugh, now I regret describing it. It's disgusting. Max rubs at my wounds harder, making me wince. I'm pretty sure she did it on purpose.

Finishing up, Max wraps my upper arm and shoulder in a long, white bandage. I give a little snort when I realize it's almost the same color as my skin. You'd think I've never been in the sun. That's me, the pyro albino. Heh, that has a nice ring to it.

"There. Don't go punching anything – including trees – until you've healed. It'll be around a day until you can assault plants again." Max stands, wiping her hands off on the towel.

"Fine. I'm a lefty anyway." I flex my right arm, checking it for strength. Max is right; day is all I'll need to fully recover, given our speedy mending abilities.

Max walks over to Fang, and together they go and sit in the shadow of one of the trees. She seems willing to just forgive and forget what I did in the evergreen forest. I sigh, not in defeat, but exasperation. I wish I could find a better way to tell her. Oh well. Good things to those who are persistent.

I lean back, staring at the moon. It's almost midnight by now. I roll onto my good side, holding my knees against me. Maybe Max will just get over Fang some day. As if. Maybe… I push the thought away. Wishful thinking never got anyone anywhere. If you want something done, you do it. My thoughts begin to trip over each other and slow as I drift to sleep. _Maybe,_ I thinking, yawning, _I'll get lucky, and Fang will just leave._ With that, my mind shuts down, and I fall into unconsciousness.

**A/N: Not sure why I made Iggy a lefty… It just seemed right. But now there's a double meaning to my title. That was unintentional. R&R! Flamers too!**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: So heeeeere is chapter 6. I really want to put in a character with a Russian accent. Maybe I'll bring back our buddy Ter Borcht or whatever his name know what irritates me? People who favorite and don't bother to leave comments. I mean, I appreciate the faves, but would it kill you so much to spend two minutes to say **_**why**_**you fave'd? I mean, come on. Okay, well I apologize for my babbling, here it is. Max's PoV, Ch. 6. R&R.**

**Love y'all,**

**~Ulquiorra-isnt-emo**

Left Hand Man Chapter 6

I'm walking through a gorgeous green forest. I'm barefoot, so I can feel the soft springy grass under my toes. Birds chirp cheerfully, making a hell of a lot of noise and managing to make it sound beautiful at the same time. Under the cacophony of the tweeting, I can hear and feel a breeze rustling leaves and blowing my hair. Flowers sprout at the bases of a myriad of different trees. It's completely peaceful.

So why am I so tense?

During my entire nature walk, I'd been wound up, waiting for something to jump at me. Because perfect places don't exist, right? There's always going to be some evil in the world, somewhere. I can't shake the feeling that this flawless world is a cover for something much darker and scarier.

I spot something dark and still, contrasting dramatically in this happy, bright world. I whirl around to face it. WTH? Fang?

"Fang?"

He stays as still as a statue, staring straight ahead. I stride up to him and wave my hand in front of his face.

"Fang? Earth to Fang."

Nothing I can't even tell if he's breathing. Is it even the real Fang?

A feeling of anxiety starts forming in the pit of my stomach. What's going on? Whatever it is, it can't be good. I have figure a way out and snap Fang out of his reverie.

The bushes ahead of me start shaking, shedding some leaves and twigs. I sink into my fighting stance impulsively. I notice the birds around me have gone silent, waiting, like me, to see if this new intruder is a threat. The undergrowth shudders one more time, and the last thing I'd expect to see emerges.

My fists drop in surprise, along with my jaw. The twittering resumes, showing the animals' confidence in their safety. My posture relaxes as I stare slack-jawed at the person before me.

Iggy strolls up to me, smiling, and his palms turned up in greeting or a form of surrender – I'm not sure. I shake my head, rub my eyes, even pinch myself. How cliché. Taking a step back, I look Iggy up and down to make sure it's actually him.

"Are you checking me out, Maximum?" Iggy's head cocks to one side, throwing me his signature smirk.

Yeah, it's definitely Iggy. So then, where the hell are we? Iggy seems to be thinking the same thing, and he glances around with a slightly bemused expression on his face. He starts to take a step towards me when his head snaps to Fang, listening to something I can't hear. I'm startled when Iggy grabs my hand and starts tugging rapidly me through the forest. And not gently, I might add.

Branches whip my face and legs, leaving a little stinging everywhere they hit. I trip constantly over small logs and brush. Leafy things get stuck in my hair, painfully pulling at it until they snap away from their plants. I look back at Fang, already mostly hidden bushes and trees.

"What the heck's going on, Iggy?" I call up to him, not sure if he can hear me over the sound of me crashing through the forest.

"You gotta run. We gotta get outta here," Iggy pants, inches away from a full-out panic attack. His face is even whiter, if possible, and there's a terror in his voice I've never heard before.

I'm about to pull him to a stop when I realize something about our surroundings. It almost looks as if the trees are... melting. It's like they were painted on a canvas, and before they could completely dry, someone slowly started pouring water over them. As the trees liquefy, they are replaced by a dead, gray scale version of the lively grove. All the trees are now twisted, ugly corpse plants, their branches reaching out like fingers ready to wring your neck. The feathery grass is substituted by dust and grovel, digging into the soles of my feet. And the birds are gone. Instead of their lighthearted trilling, the forest is filled with the most obsolete, foreboding silence I've ever heard.

I feel my eyes get as big as basketballs. How the hell …? I'm about to say something to Iggy when I see it's not Iggy pulling me along anymore. Instead, it's a 7 year old, alive, human Ari. Tears are streaking down his cheeks, but the same look of panic and fear is written across his face.

A thousand questions do cartwheels through my head. Why..? How..? WTH?

"Ari? What's going on?" I'm surprised by the uneasiness in my voice. I am Maximum Ride. I'm never nervous. "Where's Iggy?"

Ari shakes his head, sobs cracking his voice when he gives me the same answer as Iggy.

"We have to run, Max. Something's gonna happen. We gotta go."

Without warning, Ari morphs into Nudge. She's crying as well, telling me we have to run. I'm too shocked to disobey. What is going on?

Nudge's voice gets higher, and she transforms into Angel. They're all telling me the same thing, yanking me relentlessly through the forest. Angels gets taller and her hair shrinks back, turning her into Gazzy. Next are Ella, Mom, Jeb, even Dr. Amazing. They start changing at such a high speed I can't tell who it is anymore. Their voices are all melding together and screaming at the same time. My head feels like it's about to explode. I stumble more often, my free hand clutching at my skull. I'm about to curl up and wait for it to end when the entire world blows up in white light.

"… Max ..?"

The voice echoes from far away.

"Max… up. Wake up."

"Whaaaaa?"

I blearily open my eyes, staring up at Fang's black ones. He's shaking me. Why? Where are we now? I try to clear my head. Melting forest, different people, running… nothing makes sense. What's going on now? This constant change in scenery is really starting to irritate me.

"Max, you awake? We gotta get moving. Flock's hungry." Fang's words bring me back to the present.

"Faaaaaaang?"Okay, maybe I'm not fully conscious yet. My tongue feels too heavy and fat for my mouth.

Fang chuckles, leaning back to let me sit up. "And I though Nudge wasn't a morning person."

I knead my eyes with the heel of my palm. "Weird dream. M'awake."

"Alright. I'll get Iggy up." Fang pads away, leaving me to my discombobulated thoughts.

Poor decision making on his end. I'm going to give myself a brain hemorrhage trying to sort all this out. Ah, whatever. Dreams aren't important. They don't have anything to do with real life, and that's the only thing that matters.

_Think this through, Max. It might mean something more than the fact that you're delusional._

Well, that's encouraging. Usually the Voice is more positive. It seems I've rubbed off on him/her/it.

I pushed myself off the ground and surveyed my waking troops. Gazzy is already up and stretching his wings. Angel is crouched on the ground, watching a trail of ants with Nudge. I turn to the sound of grunting coming from behind me. Fang is shaking Iggy's shoulder a little harder than necessary in attempt to wake him up.

"G'away. M'still sleepin'," Iggy mumbles, waving his arm around, trying to get Fang away. He finally succeeds in whacking Fang on the nose, making Fang recoil with a hilarious shocked look on his face. I can't help but grin at his failure in rousing the pyro.

I kneel next to Fang. Iggy's eyes are closed, but he probably heard me come up to him. Leaning down to Iggy's ear, I feel Fang tense beside. God, raging hormones or what? If this is enough to get Fang edgy, then thank the Lord he didn't see the little episode in the forest.

"Iggy, if you don't get your albino ass up right now, I won't let you build any bombs _or_tell fart jokes with Gazzy until I decide you can.

Iggy groggily pushes himself up, a smirk spreading across his face. He probably knows my threat is an empty one. "Anything for you, Max."

We walk towards the rest of my flock. Fang follows me and everyone looks up to see what our next move is.

"Alright, who's hungry?" A cheer rises up from them, along with a few growling stomachs.

"We're going to a fast food place a couple miles from here. Up, up, and away everyone!"

With that, I take a running start and launch myself into the air. I flap my wings furiously to get higher enough to glide. I can hear the rustling of feathers that indicates my flocks is flying up too. We finally get to a decent altitude and catch a nice breeze. I glide to Fang, letting the tips off my wings brush his subtly. He gives me a tiny little Fang smile. Slow down, heart.

I can smell the grease, salt, and cheap burgers wafting up from the ground. I know everyone else can scent it too, because their wings subconsciously tilt towards the source of the odor. We swoop down, alighting behind a dumpster and pull in our wings. Nudge is practically salivating, her eyes gleaming with an almost feral light. Gazzy has the same expression on his face, fixated on the restaurant.

"Hey, look! There's a hardware store over there!" Iggy points excitedly to a big building across the street.

"No, Iggy." I can hear my own voice firm with finality.

"Aww, come on! You know how well my bombs work! Do you _want_ to die next time an army of Erasers attacks us?"

Sadly, he's right. Gah, logic. Can't live with it, can't live without it.

"Fine. I don't feel like arguing with you. But I'm coming. Fang, until we get back, you're in charge."

Fang, Iggy, and Gazzy's voices ring out in protest.

"Are you sure you want to go by yourself, Max?"

"Why do you have to come? I'll be fine on my own!"

"Why does only Iggy get to go?"

I give them the _shut up_glare. "Because I said so. Maxocracy, like it or not. Fang, I don't want flock members wandering off on their own. You can get the food, please, and I'll go with Iggy."

Pointing to Iggy, I say, "See above." Then to Gazzy. "If both of you are there, I'm sure something will explode. So Iggy gets to come."

Nudge decides to pipe up. "Why do you want to go to a hardware store anyway? I mean, yeah, some of the tools are colorful and cool looking, but then I realize I can't actually use them, so I get all disappointed. It's like going to an amusement park and seeing that you can't go on any of the rides. Remember when we went to that amusement park in… whatever state we were in? That was fun! The ride that did a loop was awe – "

Fang shakes his head slightly and claps his hand over Nudge's mouth, leading the kids toward the fast food place. Gazzy grumbles, stomping after the flock. Iggy shoots me an irritated look, and jogs towards the hardware store. Sigh. I can't please anyone, can I?

I trail after Iggy, wincing slightly at the pneumatic hiss of the automatic doors in the store. They remind me too much of the School and the whisper of medical machinery. Iggy hooks a finger in one of my belt loops. I start walking, leading him into the isles he directs me to.

Wait. Iggy isn't blind anymore.

"Um, Iggy? You can see again."

He nods absently, eyeing a set of green wires. "Thank you, Captain Obvious."

I roll my eyes at him. "So why do you need me to show you where to go?"

It's his turn to put on a _duh_ face. "I don't. It's fun to play blind, now that I can see."

"Or you just want an excuse to put your hand by my ass," I mutter, glancing around, checking exits and our fellow shoppers. Just in case.

Iggy has the decency to blush at my comment, trying to hide it by examining some screws and bolts. I feel a smirk curve my mouth. I am _shameless_.

A salesman wearing a bright orange apron walks up to us, that fake I'm-gonna-sell-you-something smile plastered on his face.

"Do you and your girlfriend need help finding something?" he says with faux friendliness to Iggy.

"Yes, actually," Iggy replies authoritatively over my flustered denials about the girlfriend comment. He aims his eyes at the man's left shoulder, exaggerating the whole 'blind' ploy. "I'm blind, see, and my girlfriend here isn't very good at navigating hardware stores. I'm looking for..."

I tune him out, fuming over being called his 'girlfriend.' I realize his finger is still curled around my belt loop. I go to push his index finger off and he grabs my hand instead. Stupid, persistent albino.

When I try to take my hand back, he taps twice on my wrist. _Just go along,_ it says. The sales guy is completely oblivious to the entire episode, explaining in depth the benefits we would gain from buying this and this to go along with whatever Iggy wants.

Finally, the orange apron man finishes his rant after being declined several times by my 'blind' (quote quote) 'boyfriend' (quote quote). He guides us – with much less enthusiasm than before – to an isle covered floor to ceiling in wires and alligator clamps. I'm proud of myself for being able to identify some of the funky-looking appliances.

I pull Iggy down the corridor, keeping up the blind pretense while trailing the sales dude. He directs us to some colorful tools I don't recognize. Iggy waits for the apron guy to walk away, then he bends down and scrutinizes the vibrant piece of equipment.

My thoughts wander, trying to ignore that stupid warm, fuzzy feeling coming from holding Iggy's hand. Girlfriend? Is that really what Iggy wants? God, this friggin' romance stuff sucks. So _complicated._ And complications are something I can't afford when I'm trying to save the world. Maybe I should just tell Iggy I'm not interested and leave it at that.

_Give him a chance, Max. You don't know that you'll always have Fang._

_Wow Voice, since when do you give relationship advice? And Fang will never leave me. Never. We know what happened last time._ If you can snarl in your thoughts, that's what I did.

_I don't care about your affections. It's the good of the flock that matters. But if something happens between you and Fang, and you're... not functioning, then the flock falls. Besides, Fang is a living being. And anything that lives can die._

I tense. _What's that suppose to mean?_

The Voice is silent, or it's ignoring me. Son/daughter of a bi–

"Max?" Iggy's looking up at me, concern in his expression and tone. I realize I'm still frozen, my fingers stiff in his. I relax and put an artificial smile on my face.

"Yeah? Hurry, we should get out of here. I'm starving," I say nonchalantly, giving a glare to an old lady getting too close. You never know who's who.

"Good idea. But since we're dating, we should probably make out. You know, just to keep up the façade," he murmurs, pulling on my arm to get me closer.

I don't bother to fight. "Nice try, Mr. Testosterone. God help me, I will rip that hand off if you get _remotely_ near me."

He smirks widely, letting me take some steps back. "Violence is not the answer, Maximum."

"When in doubt, resort to hitting something," I mutter, yanking Iggy to the registers. Cocky, over-confident pyro.

I fidget the entire time in line. Despite having high ceilings and decent lighting, being indoors for a while is starting to make me nervous. Too many people, too many possible weapons. I've already cataloged ten different ways to kill someone with a screwdriver. Finally, we reach the front of the line. The guy scans our wires, we pay and I practically shove Iggy out the door.

We trot back to the restaurant, the wire and other stuff Iggy bought clinking in the plastic bag. We find Fang and the kids all seated in a booth, chowing down on burgers and fries. Ah, the glorious smell of fast food.

I slide in next to Fang, and Iggy sits next to me. I'd like to say I get a fork and knife and ate daintily like the lady I should be. Unfortunately, I'd be lying. To say I fall upon my food like a starving, well, bird kid, is more accurate.

I'm just about to devour my third patty when I see the model-like guys slipping into the booth next to ours. I freeze with the burger halfway to my mouth.

Goddammit, déjà vu.

**A/N: ARRRGGGHHH! This chapter is 2000 freaking words longer than my other ones! The inconsistency… It burns! Anyway, the waking-up scene is soooo cliché; I hate it. And Max is OOC. Bleh. For lack of imagination and effort, that's as good as it's gonna get for now. Maybe next time I update I'll make it better. And I had something else to say too… Dammit. I forget. If I remember, it'll be on the next A/N.**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Absolutely Unusual: I won't put Max into depression for too long. She's got a sturdy will and it's OOC for her to be in self pity for a long time. I'll try to keep it short. But I do need the depression so Iggy can pull her out of it. And I need to find a good way to summarize her fallout without making it sound like, as you said, Bella-from-Twilight. Bella always annoyed the crap outta me. I have an issue, where whenever I write about depression, I go to in depth and make it really morbid and reeeeeaaaally long. I need to work on that...**

**They have their laptop. I don't remember whether or not they still have it after Fang, but I'm too lazy to go and look for it in the books, so they still have it. **

**Here eez my very late Chapter 7 in Iggy's perspective.**

**Love y'all,**

**~Ulquiorra-isnt-emo**

Left Hand Man Chapter 7

I'm just draining the last of my caffeinated soda when Max suddenly freezes. I cast my eyes around the small, crowded area, looking for the threat. Nothing, nothing, nothing... There. The guys in suits, a booth away from us. They look like they could be male underwear models. God, why the hell am I thinking that? I sound gay.

I lift my nose, trying to catch the scent of the men. Too much cologne, hair gel, and new car smell. No wolfy stink on them. Straining my ears, I can hear the timbre of their lowered voices. They don't sound like Erasers. Their tones are serious with no rasp that usual lurks in the background of werewolf voices. When their eyes drift to us, they have the curious why-are-those-dirty-kids-eating-so-much look, and not the off-with-their-heads gleam.

I turn to Max. She's already furtively glancing around, judging how long it will take us to sprint out the door. I touch her arm to get attention.

"Max, it's cool. They're not Erasers. They smell and sound clean. Figuratively."

Angel nods in agreement. "One of them is thinking about stock prices. The other is trying to figure out how... To get his wife in bed? What does that mean?"

I snort a laugh, half-choking on the remains of my drink. Lovely. I look up see Max's reaction. A rosy red is spreading across her cheeks, and she's focused intensely on her burger. I wonder when/if she'll give the sex talk. That would be hysterical. There's so much comedic potential in a 'talk' like that.

"Uh, we can discuss this later, Angel. We should get of here for now, anyway." Her voice rises, making sure the rest of the flock can hear. They nod, finishing off their food. We all stand at the same time, our chairs scraping loudly on the industrial tiled floor. The businessmen lift their gazes briefly to see the source to the noise. They duck their heads as our challenging, battle-hardened glares meet theirs.

We stride outside and jog around the back. Max leads as we take off. Man, flying is great. It's even better now that I can see. It's fun watching all the tiny people and cars go about their business in miniature cities. The first time I flew after getting my vision back, when we escaped that 'government' hellhole, I almost fell out of the sky. I had looked down and gotten such a strong sensation of vertigo, I almost hurled.

Then again, there are some pros to seeing again. Like being able to see Max's face. Finding out she's even more beautiful than I originally thought she was. Watching her blush awkwardly when I make a perverted comment or flirt with her. It's all totally worth having been blind. Although, I would like to go back and 'operate' on the jackasses that originally 'operated' on me and made me blind.

I'm lost in my thoughts, and I'm not looking where I'm going. Heh, looking. My wing brushes Max's on the down stroke, making her shoot me a glance, flushing pinkish. I grin back, unabashed. She obviously still feels self-conscious around me after the little scene in the woods. That was fun. I love messing with her mind.

"You know what I just realized?" Max calls out to us, probably looking for an excuse to think about something other than _moi._

"No, but I'm sure you're going to tell us," I say cheekily, putting on a sweet, innocent smile.

Max gives me the Evil Glare. "The Erasers. Didn't the Jeb say they 'retired' all the Erasers?"

I think back to the most recent times we've spoken with Jeb. Damn, painful memories. "Oh yeah. And they were real Erasers. I didn't hear any gears or anything, so they weren't Flyboys. Huh. What the heck."

Max nods distractedly, her graze defocusing as she thinks and contemplates possibilities. Fang swoops up, his wings almost colliding with mine as he pushes between Max and me. I shoot him a dirty look. He just stares emotionlessly back. Idiot. I purposely allow myself to drift back, and engage Nudge in conversation.

Finally, after like, _forever_, (10 minutes in everyone else's time) we make it back to our grove of tree. And Max – God bless her kind and considerate soul – immediately orders that we pack up and move out.

"We have to find out more about those Erasers. I don't know if Itex or the School or whatever are making new Erasers, but we gotta get moving anyway. Load up, guys."

We all scramble around; hiding all of our tracks and putting back anything we might have moved. When Max is at last satisfied with our work, we jump off again, heading to a hotel. No, not a real hotel. More like a cheap motel. But a place with real beds none the less. We're pretty psyched about sleeping indoors rather than in New York sewers. The only other place I'd rather be is Dr. Martinez's place, but Max is concerned that we'll bring Erasers down on her house. Being as contrarian as I am, I hate to agree, but she's right. I don't want anything to hurt my almost-mom and kinda-sister, both fragilely human.

When we get to the motel in some state across the country, it's already getting dark. I crash onto one of the beds, successfully claiming it. Gazzy jumps onto a couch, burying his face in one of the cushions. Of course, _Max and Fang_ get the same bed. Of course they're sleeping together. Oh God, that came out the wrong way. Argh, bad train of thought. Damn. I roll onto my stomach and groan into the mattress. As much as I try not to think about things like that, I _am_ a guy.

"Hey Nudge, can you try something for me?" Max asks, getting up and rummaging through the backpack. "I know you weren't there when the Erasers attacked us, but see if you can use your computer power thingy to find anything about these new Erasers. I doubt it, but Itex or someone might have a database online."

"Oh, I want to help!" Angel beams at Max. Max purses her lips slightly. Max and Angel have been kind of tense for a while now, ever since the whole Fang's-gonna-die thing, and even before that.

"Fine, Angel. But I don't see what you can do," Max says tersely, turning away from the blond cherub.

She pulls our laptop-on-steroids out of the battered bag and hands it to Nudge. The chatterbox goes and seats herself in a cheap, ratty armchair, already babbling about the possibilities of online shopping. I don't want to rain on her parade, so I don't mention that we don't have a credit card to pay with any more. Max is about to walk into to bathroom when I push myself up and trip over, making her pause.

"Wait! I demand the bathroom first. With you and all your lady things, it could take you hours to get out of the bathroom. Lemme take a shower first. Five minutes, tops."

She glares at me, but retreats and sits back on her bed. I shoot her a thankful grin and grab some spare clothes from our over-stuffed backpack. Heading back to the bathroom, I click the lock. I love my family, but I will not trust them when it comes to practical jokes. I turn on the water, the sound of pattering drops relaxing me. It's been a while since we've been able to lie back, even if this is momentary.

I pull off my dirty clothes and step under the pounding water. It feels nice, the warm water streaming over me. The steam makes the small space hotter and stuffy, fogging up the glass door. I try to pretend the water is washing away all of my problems. I snort. Good luck with that. I can play like I don't like her. I can ignore her. But she'll always be there. Always with Fang. But I'll always be here too. I will always be waiting, waiting for Fang to screw up. Waiting and watching. And now I sound like some obsessive stalker. Wonderful.

I give up on my shower. Twisting the knob, the water ceases and I pull the towel from where it was hanging on the shower door. I dry myself off and put on my change of clothed. Believe it or not, I actually stop and check my reflection in the clouded mirror. Rubbing the water droplets off, I can see myself, tall and lanky and pale. I'm like Fang's polar opposite. Minus the tall part. He's dark and silent, I'm light and loud. He's reserved and I'm obnoxious. He's with Max and I'm not. Yin and yang, man. Except that yin and yang can coexist. One of us is going to get fed up with the other soon enough. Maybe not in the next few months, or years, but it will happen. And when it does, hell might as break loose while we're at it.

I rake a hand through my – as Nudge calls it – strawberry blond hair. It's sticking up in every direction, making it look like there's an albino porcupine sitting on my head. I hastily pat it down, trying to create some order to it. Despite being wet, it stubbornly stays up. I surrender to my hair, straightening out my wrinkled shirt instead. I can't believe I'm actually trying to look decent. The things Max does to my brain… If I keep it up at this rate, soon I'm going to be wearing tuxes and cologne and _combing_ my hair just to be around her.

Once I'm done pimping, I open the door, taking my grimy clothes with me. Maybe this motel has a laundry service.

Max brushes past me on her way to the bathroom. She smirks at me, saying, "Iggy, you took a whole ten minutes. God, you're such a _girl._"

I make a face at her and collapse back onto my bed, not caring that I'm getting the sheets wet with my hair. This romance stuff is hell. It wasn't this complicated when we were kids. Back then, all you had to do to let someone know you liked them was steal their food or yank their hair. Nowadays, you gotta punch a tree, get them pissed, and kiss them. Then of course that causes a millions more problems. Damn. I wish this were easier.

Nudge interrupts my thoughts with her high-pitched, girly voice. "Guys, I think I found something!"

Fang looks over her shoulder at the computer screen. He nods, going over and knocking quietly on the bathroom door.

"Hey Max? Nudge found something," he says, louder than normal in order be heard on the other side of the door. Not that it was necessary with our super hearing and all.

The door swings open, forcing Fang to jump back or be hit. I snigger slightly, making him shoot me a look before Max emerges and his face melts back into apathy.

"What is it Nudge?" Max walks over to Nudge, scrutinizing the glowing screen.

"There's a factory in Pennsylvania run by Itex that has some info on the 'Next Generation Lupine Recombinants.' And, it's a Hershey's factory!"

Max smiles at Nudge's enthusiasm for the last part. She looks around at us, everyone perked up and listening.

"Tomorrow then, Pennsylvania?"

**A/N: Review if you were visualizing Iggy in the shower! Cause I know I was *wiggles eyebrows* Just kidding, I really don't want to know how many of you are perverts. There's so many potential "that's what she said" jokes in my story, it's sad. Oh, and I forgot to mention this in earlier chapters, but I'm slightly dyslexic, so that's why I have more grammar and/or spelling mistakes then other people. And I suck at proofing. I'm sorry T_T**


	8. Chapter 8

Stupid Filler Chapter

**A/N: Before anyone complains, yes, this is a filler chapter. The chapter I'm working on is going slow and I don't want to leave you guys for a while without posting, so here is my cruddy filler.**

**And I'm too lazy to finish my chapter.**

**[Don't mind me, I'm just a page break Ulquiorra-isnt-emo is gonna forget to edit in]**

A man in a white lab coat sat at a desktop computer, the glowing output reflecting off the rectangular glass perched on his nose. His fingers tapped incessantly on the keyboard, entering in a day's worth of data. His report was coming along wonderfully, full of information he thought would be extremely valuable to his higher-ups. A wide, not completely sane smile stretched his chalky features, making a shiver pass through the assistant standing at his side.

The scientist was sure his research was important. Ever since he was demoted from his position, he'd been concocting scheme to get his status back up. Finally, he settled on research the organization had never attempted before, for lack of test subject. Being the charismatic and charming man he was, he was able to find some of the subject the organization has previously been unable to obtain. Of course, all this was under the radar. He couldn't let his company know what he was doing. They would make him halt his research before he could prove his full potential. And he _would_ show them what he was capable of. They had been wrong to kick him out. He would show them.

He realized his hands had paused, distracted by the thoughts of regaining his esteem. He resumed feverishly, typing away and ignoring the world around him. Not that there was much to see in his empty, dank office, besides the desk and computer.

His attendant stood, uncomfortably shifting from one foot to the other for lack of somewhere to sit. The lab coated man ignored his underling's obvious uneasiness and continued his work.

**[Insert line break]**

The assistant tiredly crossed his arm, watching his boss click clack on the PC. The man had demanded he stay here even though there was nothing for him to do. The intern had simply stood there all night, trying not to think of the horrible things his employer was putting into the report.

The young man blocked out the memories stirred up by that thought. He didn't want to think of the needles and medical equipment. He didn't want to remember of the sickening sounds and agonized screams. He swore, as soon as his boss was done with this… this _project_, he would change his name and move to Mexico. No, he would move to China. He didn't even want to be on the same continent as his beastly, psychotic employer.

He shivered at a nonexistent cold. Even if he left the country, he'd be stuck with the curse this man forced upon him. He'd never be a normal human. He would always live with those dirty, ragged nails, growing from furry fingers. The assistant would have to wear a mask so no one could see his ugly snout. He probably wouldn't even be able to venture outside, because of his constant lapses into a feral beast. He'd never lead a normal life, and it was all the fault of this man, this abomination, sitting in front of him.

The attendant felt that dark animal, sequestered in the back of his mind struggling to break free. He held it down. He would get fired if he did something to the boss. He couldn't afford to lose control now. Not now, but soon he would. He would let that savage monster loose, let it take his mind and destroy everything. But now, he had to wait.

**[Another page break…]**

**A/N: Depressing and depressingly short… Damn, I am failing as a writer. Please forgive my utter incompetence as a human being. Oh, maybe I'll use that line in my story…**


	9. Chapter 9

I'm really sorry you guys. I'm not gonna go on a rant about how bad I feel, or try to make excuses or anything. I'm just gonna cut to the chase: I'm suspending Left Hand Man. Truth is, I'm horrible with commitments, and long stories bore me. I can't stand writing multiple chapters. I'm not patient enough. It's unlikely I'll ever start it up again, but I'll leave it online. I apologize to you guys who have been following this story, but it's just not gonna work for me. If you think you have a good idea, or you want to continue my story, PM me or leave a comment.

Thanks,

~ Ulquiorra-isnt-emo


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